God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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