I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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