I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
