I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Sober January is a disaster.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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