i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
