My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage