is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
