the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I have already put on my inside pants.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
