I wish life had little blips of pornography
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
