Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
