Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
