she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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