hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Randomize