So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
They took my balls.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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