nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize