If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
