just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
