fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
