why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
