Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think a kid would responsible me up
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
