I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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