I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.