Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
