oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
