Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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