i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
When are your genitals available?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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