Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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