you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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