Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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