Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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