As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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