Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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