halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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