Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
