everyone is single if you try hard enough
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize