M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize