Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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