Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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