Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
