i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
