you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
