I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
