Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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