Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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