I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
