Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
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Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
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Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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