i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
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We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
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Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.