He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
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My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
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I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!