i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
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being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
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i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?