I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell