When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.