Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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