wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
