i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
