nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
