The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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