Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
