He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
