I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
