he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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