i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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