I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
