Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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